Dear all,

It is sad to announce that this blog will no longer exist anymore. I have moved to 'kurrend.multiply.com'. It's has better interface rather than blogspot. Thank you blogger for giving me the opportunities to write and keeping all records of my entries. Hope to see you peeps in the new site.

Regards,
m.syafiq

I dreamt about grandpa last night. I'm sorry grandpa, I couldn't attend your funeral.

my grandpa just passed away at 10am singapore time just now. al-fateha.

Dear Filza,

It's true, we've got alot to learn.

Sebuah mimpi yang membuat aku terjaga semalam. Mungkin aku terlupa untuk membasuh kaki sebelum tidur. Dan mungkin juga ini adalah alamat yang aku perlu pertimbangkan. Tetapi, cintaku terhadapmu, tidak pernah berubah. Aku tahu yang kau perlukan masa. Aku tidak menghalang engkau mengejar impian kau, malah aku redha yang jodoh dan takdir itu di tangan Allah. Setiap hari aku memikirkan engkau dan aku telah menaruh harapan tinggi terhadap engkau. Aku tahu yang ini semua adalah kesalahan ku kerana aku yang telah membuat diri aku membabitkan semua ini. Dari itu, akan aku berjanji pada diri ku, untuk memberi engkau masa yang engkau ingini. Mungkin ini adalah bukan kata-kata akhir dari ku untuk mu, tetapi, ini adalah kata ikhlas dari seorang yang mencintaimu. Hidup seorang insan tidak lah sempurna, malah dier mesti terus berusaha. Aku akan cuba mencari peganti untuk diri mu. Dari itu, jaga lah diri mu dengan sebaik-baik mungkin.

Dear Filza,

Mungkin ini hanya sementara.

Dear Filza,

I know you need some time on your own. I miss you.

Dear Filza,

You are way better than she is. But pieces of you had already starts to tremble down.

Dear Filza,

Ku ingin kau jadi wanita mulia yang tahu harga budi dan hati.

Dear Filza,

Nothing else matter.

Dear Filza,

Look at the stars and look how they shine for you.

-m.syafiq

Dear Filza,

Waiting for your replies is like waiting for a thousand years.

so i had dreamt about her last night. this time i was dreaming that i'll go to a friend's wedding function with her. how i wished. so today is gonna be a great damn busy day. i think i'm gonna work till late again. no life, no money, no ladies, just pure sincerity to finish up this ship. it getting tougher and tougher, day by day.

ok let's not talk about work. so, i message her as usual early in the morning. the funny thing is that she wouldn't reply at times. and sometimes, she did. maybe, i've just put too much hope when i think, there's little hope. maybe? i'm few thousand miles away from her and i can't do anything to attract her. but what i can do for myself is, be happy. i cant help that i have fallen in love with someone. and the thought of her just couldn't get it out my mind.

so a friend advice to take it slowly. maybe she's testing my patience and see how true my love is for her. funny thing is, i'm just confused. would i wanna fall in love again? i love her so so much but should i trust her? should i wait for her and hoping that she will accept me? what happens if i waited for her and she got someone else? alot of things has been running through my mind. so i thought that it would be wiser to write this off here. to let go all the feelings i have and start a new tomorrow. dear, you can say that it is a rebound. you can say that i'm finding a substitute. i'm not arguing about it. but i can just say this, i'm suffocating. i just wanna be there and hold your hands again. i wanna bring you to the path where we will find lights. and i wanna show you that what i had for you before, after and now is totally genuine. even if i was attached with another, you were always in my mind and i will always ask myself how you are doing. i will always see your room when i will pass by your block. your lights will always be turned on even late at night or pass wee morning. like i say again, you might not have feelings for me. i know i am not your dream guy. but please dont doubt the love i have for you. it's like thrusting a dagger in my heart when you say that it is a rebound. say whatever you like, but at the end, you are always right. i will not argue with you nor disappoint you. for which i would like to say it again, you were always there on my mind. be it when was with her or other ladies. you have put some sense into me. believing that i'm capable of more than what i am now. you have always put faith in me. you have always corrected me, in studies and how my attitude is. there will someday, i hope, that we'll bump into each other and smile.

dear Filza, i may not be the one but i truly am, in love with you.

How can I win your heart when I'm thousand miles away from you.

Someone advice me about why we shouldn't be angry if the lady that you love so much left you or only leave you hanging. Where else, you should be ashamed. Ashamed that the ladies left you because of your non-capability to lead them to the light of eternity. A husband responsibility is to guide his wife to a path that leads to jannah (heaven). So, it means that if a lady broke off and go with another man, it means that you are just not prepared and you are useless. The idea is that, I should start to look at how to change myself for the better. So ask myself again, what is islam, what is iman, and what is ikhsan. Have I forgotten everything that has been taught? I'm just lost for words and i just feel so useless now. I need to start to get things rolling in. Now, I'm just so afraid to talk about love, marriage and wife.

and all you ever need was a reason to believe

انما الاعمال بالنيات

every action is by intention

IQRA was great yesterday. Manage to get my pace and the song, and Ustaz said I improved alot. Alhamdulillah. Mum was proud of me. I felt sad when she said, kalo mama meninggal nant ada juga anak yang boleh kan surah yasin. I said to her insyaallah dan tiara larangan doa seorang anak yang soleh untuk ibu bapanya.