13 october 2007, hari raya aidilfitri.... in this very day, very moment, where devils have been release, where sins begins to start.... today we will tell ourselves that what we have been through last ramadhan was challenging, and there is still greater challenge to come.... last ramadhan was the most challenging for me.... with all the faith i have in myself, my mental strength was tough and did show the people, all the physical training they made us do, we will never give up our fast easily.... with all our hardwork we carried out in the month of ramadhan, may god give us blessing and peace in ourselves.... and with the responsibilites to be carry out, we will not abid to our religion.....

to fellow soldiers, friends, families, even unknown stranger whose reading,
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MINAL AIDIL WAl FAIZIN

sometimes i wonder whether im just dreaming of the reality, or im just playing with life and myself... today was the most tiring day..... not forgetting the 4km run just now in the morning..... haven't been sleeping right at the bunk..... well, sometimes when we look at the old flash backs, we tend to regret..... and sometimes we look at the old flash backs, we tend to repeat it again but it can never happen..... sometime to think, why must humans have such a memory to think about flash backs...... it just hurt sometimes, it can sometimes make us laugh.... but why again, we must look back in the past and not move on..... have thought about it so much...... why would someone like me be doing right now if it's not for national service...... well, i just pray hard i got to combat medic and go for the guards conversion...... atleast i can see myself as a man..... why guards??? well, it's just an honour to be one of them...... as the song goes;

in the early morning march,

with the field pack on my back,

with an aching in my heart,

and my body's full of sweat,

im a long long way from home,

and i miss my parents so,

in the early morning march,

and when the cold wind blows....

well practically, sometimes we do regret something in life...... and for goodness, u cant change that unless u're bruce almighty..... i would always think why would i take life the hardest way.... there's a simple path for me to follow but i simply chose the hardest one..... and for that, everything starts to change..... if i were to be back in first year of ngee ann polytechnic, i hope i can really make a change in myself..... but all that is just hopes and wishes which may never come true..... once done, it's all done..... live life as it is..... i always think why we chose the hardest way...... even when i'm doing v-ups, push ups, jumping jacks, even when i shack, i would still think why am i torture like this..... why is life very hard...... and finally it just came across to my mind...... i like to live life the hardest way...... i like to live life the pain and suffering way..... there's always pain, but it's just temporary..... but for me, pain is forever..... and all i need is for, a lifefull of morphine..... so that this life would not hurt, would be pain again...... whatever it is,

pain is always temporary.... pride is forever.....